You can’t help but wonder, with all the ‘How To Save Your Marriage‘ self-help books and courses available these days, why there are so many couples going through the process of separation and divorce. Added to this, with all the T.V. specials and talk-back radio show spouting forth ‘timely’ advice, you would think we’d have this marriage relationship thing under control.
Now, I’m not saying that all the marital self-help information is useless, but, perhaps it’s addressing the relationship problems couples experience in a complicated manner. Maybe too complex for many men and women to actually apply to their troubled relationships. They’re forgetting the fundamentals of saving a marriage that many people need.
No matter how much ‘good’ advice you get from various sources of relationship help, there are some basic things about your approach to your marriage that need to change, even before you can take advantage of those tips.
When some couples go through rough patches in their marriage, all they seem to talk about is getting divorced, you know, it’s the natural progression of events. It’s as if they’ve given up any hope of getting their relationship back on track. Why not just end it, it’s simpler, less hassle, isn’t it?
Some spouses even use the ‘threat of divorce’ as a means of intimidating their partners when trying to cope with marriage problems, even though they never plan to carry through.
Instead of wasting time and effort on the negatives, it could be better spent finding and exploring ways to improve your marital situation and see Wie wirkt Viagra and how it can improve their love life. The “D-word” shouldn’t enter your conversations on a regular basis as a solution to your marriage woes. The problem with it is, the more often you bring up the subject, the more likely it is to become a reality!
- Have you lost respect for your spouse?
Can you remember your first few dates, when you hardly knew each other and were nervous just to be around each other? You said “please” and “thank you” and if any disagreements came up you patiently and politely resolved them? You don’t have to fall in love all over again, but if you want to find out how to save your marriage, at least try to get back to that level of respect with each other.
Accept that neither you nor your spouse is perfect. When you were first married, it was easy to ignore those annoying little habits your partner might have had. However, after a few years of living together, the irritation builds up and you start to wish your spouse would just stop it already. The next time your spouse does something that aggravates you, consider whether it’s really all that serious. If not, just let it go.
Even if you’ve managed to accomplish the goal above, this one’s easier said than done! Once you’ve fallen into the habit of being critical, it takes some effort to stop. But try to avoid verbally attacking your spouse for doing something you don’t like. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let them know when something they do bothers you. But doing so in a non-judgmental and less, “I know better”, way can make life a lot easier. Believe me, it’s a marriage saver!
- Do you really understand your partner?
Learn about the opposite gender. What I mean by this is taking an open-minded approach to understand the way your wife or husband typically approaches and reacts to intimate relationships. Men and women have different ways of dealing with feelings and emotions, and what you learn just might help you discover how to save your marriage.
Working out how to save your marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. But, you can’t rely solely on the free information you may find on the internet and even self-help books are written by professional marriage counselors. Sometimes they leave out some of the fundamentals, so as you try to mend your marriage, make sure you start with a good foundation. Begin with the basics!